George Carlin on age - (Absolutely Brilliant)

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less thn1 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NO t were the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Healthy living

How we deal with the changes in life impacts how well we deal with life itself. Do we see change as an opportunity for growth, or do we desperately try to hang on to the status quo? Here are some tips to help you weather changes and smooth out the bumps in your life.

1. Expand your horizons.

Use the change to learn something. Now is the time to become
computer literate, learn to take great pictures with the camera that's on the closet shelf, or brush up on your writing skills in a creative writing class. You'll learn something new and meet people who share a common interest with you.

2. Live a healthy lifestyle.

Pay attention to the food you eat to fuel your body. Choose
protein-rich foods, whole grains, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. As food fuels your body, sleep fuels your brain. Get 7 or 8 hours a night if possible. Exercise daily. It goes a long way to making you feel better.

3. Use your support network.

When you're feeling sad, confused, or overwhelmed, don't hesitate to contact a friend or family member. Choose someone who will listen to you in a safe, non-judgmental way. Talking is a great way to lighten your load as you work through your change.

4. Volunteer.

Give your time to help others and notice how rewarding it feels.
When your life seems to be in total upheaval, helping someone else puts things in perspective. No matter how dismal things may seem, there are always plenty of people who would gladly trade places with you. Remember that.

5. List the stable things in your life.

When change is swirling all around you and you feel totally off
balance, make a list of the things in your life that remain stable. What is your daily routine? Do you wake up at the same time each morning and have coffee and read the newspaper before work? Are there favorite television shows you watch? Do you attend religious services each week? Listing the routine things you do will remind you that there is some stability in your life.

6. Take your time.

Life can change in an instant, but it takes time to adjust to the
change. If you lose your job, don't expect an immediate adjustment to your unemployed status. If you are widowed or divorced, it will take time to settle into a new routine as a single person. Understand this and allow yourself to ease into your new life situation.

7. Explore the opportunities in transition.

A door opens because another door has closed. This may be the time to investigate something major like moving from a house to a condo or maybe to another location. Perhaps you want to change your image with a makeover. What about getting involved in local politics or opening a home business? All things
are possible.

8. Keep a journal.

Keeping a journal is very therapeutic. Write about how the changes in your life are affecting you. What are your feelings? The journal is for your eyes only, so write from your heart. No censoring your entries. That defeats the purpose of journaling.

9. Take time for yourself.

Are you busy caring for others and neglecting yourself? When your life is in transition, it is important to make time for yourself. To function effectively, you must come from a place of wholeness. We all have the same 24 hours every day. Make yourself a priority, even if you have to set something else aside. If necessary, schedule a daily appointment with yourself and keep it.

10. Grieve for what you are losing.

Any change involves the loss of something. Give yourself
permission to grieve for what you are losing no matter how trivial others may think it is. This is something you must get through in a way that is meaningful to you so that you can move forward without regret.

Life!

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the one's who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Kiwani Univercity

KIWAANI UNIVERCITY

KIMOMBASA
UGANDA

Deer quin, how are you? My names are cold Kizito Joseph. I am the gilled president of Kiwaani univercity. I am saw harpy you are calming to sea ass in Uganda . I have ritten this later to ask you to allso come and visit ass at hour univercity.

Whane you calm, we shall welcalm you and you will go bark saying that eh,eh!, those people are not for jokes. We shall cook food and every one will it and fill sacrificed in there stomakas. We shall haya good cookers
and tell them to cook good food. We will cook rice and slotter kitchens.
If we can, we will haya those pupil of kitchen toonight. Even those who drink bear and sooda will drink until they push with there legs.


Do not warry about our kitchen, they do not have bad flu. Even the rices will be picked well, one by one to remove stones. We will get the rice from Professa Gill-butt Bukenyas firm in Kakiri. His rice stinks well when cooked, and you will be entartained by it.


After lanch we shall call the camel
man to beat us some fotows. He will go and wash them there and then, to make life more easier. But when those fotows die, we shall take him to poris to be intergorrated by CMI. For us we shall then walk on the all university so that you enjoy the towerist attractions like the bads.


You will lonch the new sweeming pull which is near the tennis coats. If you will be wanting, you will sweem and hear for your selef how modarn it is. You can even compute with our din of students and we sea who is more better in sweeming.

Then we shall go to the main hole, were you will talk your spich to the all university peeple. After you undress them, they will be allowed to ask you there quetions and you will ask them your
answers.


In the afternoon, at about seven pm, we shall bring Ugandan and Tanzania musicians for you to sea how good there voices are. Kamiryon will sing with professar jje. Baby Cull will sing with Sweat Kid and others and others. We shall not bring Tinda Tiine, she disappionted ass her funs at the bitch the other time. People through bottles at her, and she drived away in a car.


I only want to make one remainder. You calm with your water for drinking. These days some people have been doing bad mannas
to their frends. A satan woman was poysoned in that way at a loj.


For that rison, you calm with your mineral water and keep if in a frije. This whole yar the weather has bean very hot. It is good that your car has a an hair condissioner, you will not fill hot.


Last but not list, thank you for ridding my later. Please axept to visit ass. Allow me to pane off from hear. I have to rid for tomorrows pepper of business low.


Yours faithfooly

Kizito Joseph

Gilled president

Kiwaani Univercity

Falling!

No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE.

Thinking of YOU and YOURS

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Watch YOUR Life

*Your life - your likes - you decide!!!*

A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he
could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.

Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.

Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."

The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health , time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.

One day when we look back , we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.

Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition . Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of Work and Play , Family and Personal time . You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.

So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life!

Watch your thoughts ; they become words.

Watch your words ; they become actions.

Watch your actions ; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character .

Watch your character; it becomes your future.

--

Smile in pleasure, smile in pain; Smile when trouble pours like rain; Smile when someone hurts U, Smile coz someone cares 4 U. Keep Smiling:)